Laugh at Starmer

Total Wally

"And that was how I sank the Belgrano ..."

"And then we landed on the moon, and I was first out.

And that is when I said 'This is one small step for a man. But one giant leap for a wee fella like me.'"

"And then I said to John Lennon, 'just imagine'

And the rest wrote itself"

"So I found him looking a bit depressed to be honest

And I just said 'have you thought about MC squared?'

And that cheered Einstein right up"

"And so I said to them, 'what if we slice the bread before we sell it?'

And the rest is history."

"So I said to him, 'Look mate, you can't be my father, my father was a tool maker'.

But would he take no for an answer?

Offered to rule the galaxy with me Darth Vader did."

"So I said to him, 'Winston, trust me, the people will want to help, put out a call to all Small Boats, they will come and rescue the Army!'

And thank God he listened."

"And that is why I am known as

The Boy Who Lived."

"And that is why David Stirling and I decided to found the SAS."

"So I yelled out 'hey Captain! Watch out for that iceberg!!'

But he couldn't hear me over the Irish jig - which was tragic.

Luckily I found an empty life boat and was saved."

"So I gathered all the guys together at Tilbury

To get ready to fight the Armada. And I said:

'Although I may have the body, of a weak and feeble woman, I'm not one.'

And everyone cheered."

"And that's why I said:

'Never in the field of human conflict was so much been owed by so many to me.'

And everyone cried."

"So you know how some people find the lyrics to American Pie confusing?

It is actually all about me."